Enneagram 101?
The Enneagram…Hmm…Where do I even begin? Can I possibly give an Enneagram 101 crash course on such a large topic?
As I was riding to an out-of-town funeral with friends several months ago, one of my friends in the car asked us if we had ever heard of the Enneagram. She had been to a marketing conference, and the speaker told them about it.
I texted her a couple of days later and thanked her for my newest addiction. Ugh.
The Enneagram has to do with personality types, but it’s different from the Meyers-Briggs four-letter personality types. (I like the Enneagram better.)
So back to our car ride…my friend read us a little bit about each number and told us there was a test we could take.
According to all of the experts, there are nine numbers which represent nine basic types or approaches to patterns of human character. Once you know your number, you will better understand why you think, feel, and act the way you do.
Knowing your number
Knowing your number helps you self observe and tell the truth about who you really are and come clean from your delusions and illusions, according to Enneagram Worldwide. It can also help you understand others better and get along with people who may not think or act like you do.
I can’t remember if I took the test that she suggested (I’ve taken several), but I did initially take the test that costs $12. It’s called The Enneagram Test. Here is a good free test if you don’t want to spend the money, and my results were very similar on both of the tests.
There is no way I can adequately write about the Enneagram in just one post or really give an Enneagram 101. But, here are a few observations I have after studying it for several months.
Testing vs researching to determine your number
Should you take the test or research to determine your number?
Do both!
First, you could take the test. Second, you could listen to podcasts and read about each number. Listening to podcasts really helped me nail down which number I was. If you are like me, as you listen to podcasts and read, when they get to your number, you will know.
It’s creepy…it’s like someone has been following you around since birth AND living in your subconscious. A couple of numbers very accurately described me, my characteristics, and even my motives for sometimes doing what I do.
Warning
Be careful when you take the test not to answer it the way you think you should or the way that makes you sound better. (Ha.) Be honest.
I have two fairly prominent numbers, but a little bit of several other numbers. Unfortunately, I do have the good, bad, and the ugly parts of my numbers in me.
We all do.
And, of course, not everything you read about your number will apply to you, obviously, but enough will!!
You will know.
The Enneagram Institute
The Enneagram Institute website is where I learned a lot. That is the real Enneagram 101.
The experts say you aren’t supposed to try to figure out what number other people are.
Well, I do this….a lot. It’s hard not to.
But, it makes sense because we don’t know the motives behind what people do. We may not see the real person. Only you can decide what number you are. And you may change your mind the more you learn.
The numbers
The 9 Numbers: Type 1–The Perfectionist/Reformer, Type 2–The Giver/Helper, Type 3–The Achiever/Performer, Type 4–The Individualist/Romantic, Type 5–The Investigator/Observer, Type 6–The Loyalist/Loyal Skeptic, Type 7–The Enthusiast/Epicure, Type 8–The Challenger/Protector, Type 9–The Peacemaker/Mediator
With each number, there is a basic fear and a basic desire.
The instincts
One of my favorite aspects of the Enneagram that some people don’t even know about is the instincts.
These are three survival strategies. For example, three different people could be a “1”, which is the perfectionist, but all be very different. The “1”, in general, likes everything to be in order and correct. But, this can manifest itself in different ways, depending on what the person’s strongest instinct is.
Most people have two strong instincts, with the third in the distance. This is not always the case, but common.
Instinct one–self-preservation
According to Enneagram Worldwide, the first instinct is self-preservation. These people have a strong need for material supplies and security including food, shelter, warmth, and family relations as their way of responding to perceived threats and needs.
One way to understand this is to look at what someone does when he/she enters a party. The self-pres person, no matter what his/her Enneagram number is, walks into a party and immediately scopes out where the food is, the bathroom, how hot or cold it is in the place, etc, whether consciously or subconsciously.
So, for example, a self-pres “1” would in general be more anxious than other “1”s. They channel their survival concerns into having “things” or their necessities in order as a way to be a good person and to do the right thing. For them, family, home, and food preparation takes precedence over other needs.
Instinct two–social
The second type is social. This doesn’t mean that they are necessarily “social people.” It means that they have a need for belonging and membership within the larger group or community. They create social structures within communities per Enneagram Worldwide’s research.
In the party analogy, the social instinct person, no matter what his/her number is, walks in and immediately begins to see who is talking to whom, which group he/she might belong to, or who is in charge of what group and where everyone fits in. They do this either consciously or subconsciously.
So, for example, the social “1” is not very adaptable. They like clear sets of rules. They tend to be irritated when people don’t “act right”, and they don’t do as well in new situations, especially when the group isn’t “just so.”
Instinct three–sexual or one-to-one
The third type is sexual or one-to-one. This doesn’t mean they are necessarily “sexual people.” It means that their main needs are intimate relationships, close friendships, and they find vitality within their bodies. Primary relationships and coupling are their focuses. Also, they like one-to-one conversations.
In the party analogy, the sexual or one-to-one person, no matter his/her Enneagram number, walks into the party and immediately begins to look for one or two people to click with and talk to, whether consciously or subconsciously.
The sexual or one-to-one “1” perfectionist struggles with more jealousy and zealousness than their fellow “1”s. They are very self-controlled and regimented and may experience jealousy towards those “who seem to have more room for self-expression,” according to Enneagram Worldwide.
I think the instincts are fascinating.
The centers
Then, there are the centers which I’m personally not as interested in. For an explanation of the centers, you can read about them on integrative9 enneagram solutions.
The wings
Next, there are wings, and I’m personally also not as drawn to that aspect of it. Here is an explanation of the wings.
The potential rabbit hole
If you take the test, begin listening to podcasts, and do the research, you can certainly find yourself going down a rabbit hole. What I mean is there is tons of information out there. But that’s a good thing if you end up liking the Enneagram.
Podcasts
Since listening to podcasts is a great way to learn about the Enneagram, here are some of my favorites. Typology by Ian Morgan Cron, Understanding your Enneagram by Rob and Veronica Noble (best info on the instincts), and The Enneagram Journey by Suzanne Stabile, and Probably the Enneagram.
Videos
When I first got started, I listened to a pastor on youtube at Sandals Church. I listened to his videos about each number. Search for “sandals church enneagram” and they will pop up.
That was a quick Enneagram 101. What are your favorite enneagram sites or podcasts? I would love to hear about them.
Read Laurie’s story of how her recent life experiences led to the birth of the site, White Cotton.
